This past weekend I moved back to my college town for the “school year”, though of course it is not quite a school year for me. I of course am taking the semester off, as I have discussed before, and am thankfully feeling a lot better about doing so. I feel good about my roommates, they all seem to be level headed individuals so far and responsible, which is really all you can ask for in a roommate. Our housing is great as well. While my bedroom is a bit small the downstairs is huge for college living, especially the living room. We have functioning water, electricity, and wifi, which is better than a few of my friends can say at this point. Food is a bit scarce at the moment though, need to go grocery shopping at some point.

My scenery isn’t the only thing changing as well, as for the first time in over a year I went back to church in my college town. I’ll be frank and tell you I couldn’t remember what the message was on, only that it was mainly about Mordecai in the book of Esther. But I do remember seeing friends I hadn’t seen in a long time along with the Pastor, the same one who let me park in the parking lot for the past two years. Somehow he still remembered my name, granted, my flashy car combined with my unique looks makes it a lot easier I bet. 

But going back to church is a much needed step in the right direction for me I believe. I have often said I feel far from God, yet have done little to improve that besides the stray thing here and there. Hopefully this, combined with other endeavours, continues to push me in the right direction.

Something else I’m working on is my overall attitude as I feel I have become a lot more negative in recent months (just check the previous blogs and you’ll understand). I have some optimism that I was in fact just in a deep funk and that isn’t truly how I am, but at the same time I should still be working to change that. Part of the way I am trying to do that is to become more helpful, as I have found that contributing to whatever thing it is makes me feel more accomplished. I am wording that horribly, but frankly I have had a headache for half the day and am writing this at 2 am, this is the best you’re getting. To put it in hopefully more understandable terms, actually doing something makes me feel like I am contributing to this world, rather than just using up air around me. 

I do hope that doesn’t sound too self-righteous or that the only reason I volunteer/help others is to make myself feel good, as that of course is not the only reason. I do believe in treating others as yourself, or of course as it is called, the golden rule. To not turn your nose up at someone for whatever silly reason there is. Do I need to do a better job of it? Sure, but I think a lot of people also need to realize that. No one is beneath you for whatever reason. At the end of the day, we are all human and should be treated like such. 

I suppose as I have a headache I should wrap this blog up. It’s funny, whenever I write these blogs I always feel the shorter they are the worse the quality will be. And I do believe there is some truth in that matter, as my short ones are usually written when I am sick or tired. I also feel that my long ones have a lot of soul poured into them that these shorter ones don’t always get. The long ones I also usually have an identified topic I want to write on, while the short ones of course are a spur of the moment type of thing. I do hope that something captures my heart in these upcoming days/weeks to write about, not only just for the quality of my blog, but for myself as well. When I do pour everything into a post I truly am pouring it all out. It’s therapeutic for me, I even cry writing those long ones a lot of the time. There is no doubt that I am my mother’s child; I definitely got her emotions.

I told you these short ones go all over the place. I truly have no ending thoughts, as this headache has gotten worse and frankly I think sleep is the only cure. I just ask for you all to follow the golden rule to the best of your ability as I myself will continue to try to do. I wish you all well, as always. May God bless you (even if you didn’t sneeze). 

(Counting Blue Cars (Tell Me Your Thoughts On God) by Dishwala)